68

Hah dah Disember?!!!

67

For some reason I dont know why I'm so scared to make a move in my life. Even I know it is for something better.


“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

66

"Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening, the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cents of course? Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86400 seconds. Every night, it writes off as lost, whatever of these you have failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposit, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against 'tomorrow'. You must live in the present of today's deposit. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success. The clock is running. Make the most of today."

65

Harini aku dengan adik aku beserta rakan-rakan pergi ke Padang Besar. Ketika dalam perjalanan pulang seperti biasa kami akan melalui suatu "Road Block Unit Pencegahan Penyeludupan". Pemandu yang melalui jalan tersebut terpaksa memperlahankan kenderaan mereka untuk diperiksa oleh pegawai yang bertugas untuk memastikan tiada pengunjung yang mencurigakan mengunjungi sempadan Perlis-Thailand dan membeli barangan yang tidak dibenarkan. Aku dan rakan-rakan berkelakuan seperti biasa, kalau tahan pun bukan ada benda bukan-bukan yang kami beli. But the weird part is, bila kawan aku bukak tingkap, aku boleh pergi tanya pegawai tu;

"Bang, area sini dekat mana koe teaw sedap?"

Dan pegawai tersebut dengan berbudi bahasanya memberi tunjuk arah ke sebuah kedai char koe teaw di kawasan Kangar. One of the famous char koe teaw stall in Perlis.

Dan kereta-kereta di belakang beratur panjang menunggu..

64

There's always someone lagi teruk dari your situation. So bersyukur and always smile. That will make your burden lesser. Dia takkan hilang macam tu je, thats life. Semua orang ada masalah, cuma kita ingat kita yang paling teruk. If we start looking around, theres always someone who really unlucky. So start bersyukur. Every problem got timeline. One day dia akan hilang jugak, and there will be new one. So start looking it positively. Just sit back,relax and enjoy your life. -ziyad-

63

Fuh. Lampu tengah hijau. Dengan penuh keyakinan wa mempecut laju kereta nak membelok. Elok membelok laju kat traffic light je tiba-tiba wa rasa pemandangan nampak cerah. Wa toleh kanan tengok pintu kereta dah terbukak luas. Nun di seberang sana kelihatan pemandu-pemandu kereta motosikal bagai yang tengah mentunggu lampu isyarat terkebil-kebil pandang wa. Wa menggelabah..



Kelam kabut tarik pintu sambil tangan lagi sebelah kawal stereng. Dalam kepala masa tu kalau boleh invisible memang wa dah invisible dah. *sigh*

62

61

Pagi ni wa bangun-bangun lepas tu gelabah tengok hari dah cerah.

*Oh dayyum habis ah wa loceng dah bunyi dah ke ni mesti cikgu marah wa lambat pi sekolah."

And few second after that baru wa realize..





Wa dah berapa tahun tinggal sekolah kenapa harini bangun gelabah takut lambat pergi sekolah pulak.

*sigh*

60

" Wei wa nak tidur kejap mengantuk gila lagi sepuluh minit lu kejutkan wa, wa ada kerja."

"OK"

10 minutes later.

message kat yahoo messenger ; "wei bangun."

.........


A'ah memang la wa sedar kan kalau lu kejut wa macam tu.

59

Wa : "Mak pakai pencuci muka apa? Yang dalam bekas warna putih tu brand apa? Ilah dok paw pakai macam best ja."

Mak wa : " Laa.. Ilah ka yang guna. Tu sabun kempiskan perut. Bukan pencuci muka."

58

Dah lama wa tak pergi tengok wayang. Wayang terakhir yang wa tengok pun wa dah tak ingat dah cerita apa. Jadi bila maksu wa yang tua setahun dari wa tu ajak tengok wayang wa tanpa segan silu menerima pelawaan beliau. Seperti biasa, panggung wayang yang terdekat bagi kami di Perlis ni ialah di Alor Setar. Jadi setelah sejam memandu akhirnya kitorang sampai dan beli tiket. Konon-konon nak tengok cerita "Karak" la ni sebab tengok trailer macam seram semacam. Ok tapi tipu sebab bagi wa intro je seram bila sampai tengah cerita wa dah start bosan dan cerita jadi makin perlahan dan pengakhiran dia lagi sadis.

Tapi bukan pasal tu yang wa concern.

Wa perasan bro yang tengok wayang sebelah wa ni concentrate gila tengok wayang. Tup-tup tiba-tiba dia seluk tangan dalam popcorn wa dan ambik kunyah selamba mat amin dia.

Wa tenung, "mamai ke lu ni bro!?" *ok tipu,wa cakap dalam hati je*

Dia still dengan muka toya dia sambung tengok cerita macam tak ada apapa..

57

"Betol ka ni rumah kenduri nya?"

"Betol la ni, dekat depan tadi kan dah ada letak tanda. Takkan nak ada rumah kenduri lain lagi kot."

Tanpa sebarang syak wasangka mahupun ragu-ragu kami turun dengan penuh yakin mentuju ke rumah kenduri. Ditambah pula dengan sambutan penuh alu-aluan dari penyambut tetamu yang menambah lagi keyakinan kami untuk tanpa segan silu dan dengan hati riang ria menyusun lauk ke dalam pinggan. Tak ada sayur! OK memang tak menseronokkan betul kalau makan lauk-lauk kenduri ni tanpa sayur or ulam or tumbuhan apape. Tak best ah kan kalau daging or ayam saje. *banyak songeh padahal makan free*.

Sudah makan kitorang lepak-lepak kejap tunggu nak tengok pengantin. Dah lama jugak tak jumpa dia semenjak dia pindah beberapa tahun lepas. Wa ingat lagi dulu waktu kecik-kecik kadang-kadang kitorang lepak main sama-sama. Masing-masing hingos meleleh lagi waktu tu. Kejap je heh tau-tau kawen sudah dia. Tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu akhirnya pengantin pun balik dari masjid sesudah majlis akad nikah.

Tapi...aik..

Wa tergamam. Laju-laju je kitorang angkat kaki blah keluar dari kenduri tu. Pedulik ah baju kebaya ketat ke susah nak jalan ke apa ke.




Arggh!Macam mana lah boleh salah rumah kenduri ni! Menyesal tak bawak map. Siap dah kenyang makan bagai pulak tu. Astgfhmkbiklgtsqpfttt!

56

Wa boyish dulu. Wa suka potong rambut pendek and puas hati bila rasa tajam je..

Dulu masa sekolah rendah wa PRS( Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya ) walaupun hakikatnya wa tak ada tokoh nak membimbing rakan-rakan ke arah kebenaran pun. Pukul 7.40 kelas mula pukul 7.30 wa baru bangun. OK, sebenarnya kadang-kadang wa bangun pukul 7.15 tapi wa turun bawah sambung tidur balik kat sofa sampai la nenek wa gerak cakap loceng sekolah dah bunyi,since rumah wa dengan sekolah memang bagai aur dengan tebing jarak dia *eh betul ke peribahasa ni*.


PRS ni tugas dia macam memberi contoh tauladan yang baik terpuji sebagai ikutan kepada umat rakan sebaya lah lebih kurang. Wa pakai kain warna hijau dulu. Pagi-pagi masa RMT ( Rancangan Makanan Tambahan) yang mana memberi peluang makan percuma kepada wa juga sebab kena jaga nama-nama orang yang makan tu *sambil menyelam minum air*. Lepas tu masa rehat wa tolong jaga koperasi sekolah jual pemadam jual pensel jual buku jual jual jual. Seriously wa hampir terlupa pasal benda ni tiba-tiba je wa terbayang balik suasana dalam bilik koperasi masa tu. Tak dilupa jugak kadang-kadang selain dari menjual wa juga ambil kesempatan main pemadam yang 10sen tu. Wa lupa apa nama game tu tapi pemadam mana yang boleh lompat naik atas pemadam lawan dikira sebagai pemenang.

Ada sekali wa tak ingat kenapa tapi wa pernah tumbuk anak guru besar wa masa tu, Zakwan nama dia. Lawan gusti ke apa ntah then wa tolak and pijak and tumbuk muka dia. Lepas tu wa gelabah balik sebab kawan-kawan lain nampak. Nasib baik la Zakwan tu jenis baik hati kacak hensem lemah lembut lemah gelamai berbudi bahasa and dia maafkan je. *wa memang sayang lu lebih lah*. Haha.

Masa dah habis UPSR tu ada sekali kitorang kena buat kerja sukarela mengecat sekolah. And entah sebab apa wa bergaduh dengan budak kelas wa nama Mamat *wa rasa ada la tu dia cari pasal sebut benda yang buat wa geram*. Laju je tangan wa time tu angkat tong cat hayun kat dia. Habis baju sekolah sekali dengan rambut muka dia dengan cat warna merah. Wa tak tau la mak dia basuh macam mana. Dah la dia nangis-nangis ugut wa nak report kat mak dia. Wa tunggu esok tu tak ada pulak dia heret mak dia datang pun. Pastu nak revenge lah konon dia jatuhkan basikal wa kat tempat parking. *eleh tu je kau berani buat?*. Haha. Lama tak jumpa dia, tak tau la apa cerita.

Wa panggil ketua pengawas sekolah wa time tu monyet. Nama sebenar dia Hafizi tapi sebab muka and perangai dia wa tengok lebih kurang macam Wun Hong dalam cerita Journey To The West so wa suka hati letak nama dia monyet. And somehow wa rasa wa pernah baling kerusi dekat dia sebab bergaduh.

And malam ni wa teringat nak tulis pasal benda ni. Tak boleh belah jugak wa dulu rupanya..

Wa boyish dulu. Wa suka potong rambut pendek and puas hati bila rasa tajam je..

55

"Pendidikan adalah salah satu cara kerajaan untuk mengawal rakyat"

54

*dalam bus ekspress otw ke perlis*

Me ; "Yu nak pi mana?"
Him ; "Soromban"
Me ; "Bus ni pi utara"
Him ; "Angguk2"
Me ; "Seremban kat belah selatan. You're not suppose to take this bus"
Him ; *His face ; indescribable*

53

What's the best age to be? When i was a child, I thought the older I get, the better things are going to look. I 'd have acquired more skills and experience to assess and handle what may come.


Until the death of my beloved grandfather and grandmother few years ago then I realised that the older I get, the more deaths there'll be. I understand that death isn't the end. And that the departed is in a better place. But the thought of them not around is heart wrenching.Nothing can replace the feeling of missing someone who has passed on.

I can't put it in words how I miss them except there's this tug in my heart. I know the tug remains forever. And if you find me looking into space or welling up for no reasons, know that I'm missing someone.

52

If You Treat People Right, You Can Only Hope That They Treat You Right.

Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.

But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform, his evening took an unexpected turn.

He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.

"He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, 'Here you go,'" Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, "Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm."

The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, "like what's going on here?" Diaz says. "He asked me, 'Why are you doing this?'"

Diaz replied: "If you're willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me ... hey, you're more than welcome.

"You know, I just felt maybe he really needs help," Diaz says.

Diaz says he and the teen went into the diner and sat in a booth.

"The manager comes by, the dishwashers come by, the waiters come by to say hi," Diaz says. "The kid was like, 'You know everybody here. Do you own this place?'"

"No, I just eat here a lot," Diaz says he told the teen. "He says, 'But you're even nice to the dishwasher.'"

Diaz replied, "Well, haven't you been taught you should be nice to everybody?"

"Yea, but I didn't think people actually behaved that way," the teen said.

Diaz asked him what he wanted out of life. "He just had almost a sad face," Diaz says.

The teen couldn't answer Diaz — or he didn't want to.

When the bill arrived, Diaz told the teen, "Look, I guess you're going to have to pay for this bill 'cause you have my money and I can't pay for this. So if you give me my wallet back, I'll gladly treat you."

The teen "didn't even think about it" and returned the wallet, Diaz says. "I gave him $20 ... I figure maybe it'll help him. I don't know."

Diaz says he asked for something in return — the teen's knife — "and he gave it to me."

Afterward, when Diaz told his mother what happened, she said, "You're the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch."

"I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It's as simple as it gets in this complicated world."

Produced for Morning Edition by Michael Garofalo.

51

OMG its new year already. Apekejadah cepat gila setahun tau tau dah masuk tahun lain dah. *sigh*

Wa tak celebrate new year. Bukan sebab wa poyo ke apa but it just wa tak rasa wa patut menyambut hari di mana umur wa tua setahun. Dulu wa selalu fikir 'huish kesiannya diorang dah tua their life must be really weird kan'. Now Im in that condition. Not good.

Wa rasa wa ada masalah komunikasi lately. Especially with new person. I wish if I could become who I use to be masa zaman dolu-dolu. APsal wa dah tak petah apsal wa rasa gagap pergh pregh pergh mulot hati tolong lah jadi lebih yakin.

Wa busy. Wa taip ni pun laju-laju jap lagi nak mandi lepas tu nak tidur. *tipu padahal kadang-kadang sampai ke pagi mata wa terkebil-kebil wa tak boleh tidur.*

Wa kerja dengan bapak wa. Gila babi busy sampai few days ni sampai rumah je kaki rasa menggeletar sebab letih sangat. Thanks to akak-akak staff kat pejabat bertungkus lumus kerja dari jumaat, sabtu, ahad padahal 3 hari tu patutnya cuti umum tapi cuti ke date ke entah kemana.

Thanks kepada pekerja-pekerja bahagian sampingan yang macam nak gila siapkan kerja renovation dalam masa seminggu sampai tergamak tidur dekat site. Thanks dekat budak-budak uitm yang mampu bersabar even tempat korang tak complete lagi insyallah wa dengan bapak wa *eceh macam wa buat kerja sangat* will try our best settlekan benda-benda yang tak beres lagi besok and paling-paling pun minggu ni. Ok serious petang tadi wa cuak bila fikir pasal benda ni since I never face this kind of situation. Ok esok banyak kerja jenuh nak travel. *Om nom nom*

Oh ya. Thanks to adik wa Cik Munie yang turut sama serta tolong kat kedai. Wa pulak tukang masuk kedai pau air bila letih. Haha.

Wa takde azam. Wa just hope apa yang wa buat tahun ni, wa boleh buat sehabis baik. Wa nak kaya *haha melampau wish ni*. And semoga hati ni sentiasa ingat tuhan and dipermudahkan segala urusan.

And the most important thing is. Thanks to Mom and Dad and my whole family. You are the best thing I ever had.

(=